Glimpse
by SoulfulSongBird
Summary: Mercedes Jones is at a crossroads in life, stuck between what used to be and figuring out her future. Santana shows up when she needs her most, but are they meant to last or is it just a glimpse at would they could have had? AH AU
1. Chapter 1: Loser Like Me

Good evening lovelies! Thank you so much for giving this story a shot. I can truly say I'm astounded by the reception my stories have recieved. As I'm writing a few chapters ahead, I've already fallen in love with these characters. I only hope you all do as well. Happy reading!

-SoulfulSongbird

 _August 201_ 5

I'm still surprised that I didn't graduate. I know I shouldn't be, but I think it's just the natural order of things. Everybody makes mistakes and I'd made mine. Clearly, even in college, waiting until the very last moment to craft a twenty page dissertation was not a good idea. So, instead, I found myself with no degree, no job, and no money.

That was two months ago. I hadn't been able to find work, even though I was out all day, every day looking. I'd moved back with my parents in the middle of bumfuck no where after I couldn't find a job closer to my former school and so far all they had available were jobs flipping burgers at the local fast food.

Even that would of been great though. At the very least, I was hoping to be able to pay for my student loans. Sadly, I was overqualified for all those positions. How exactly one can be overqualified in a way that makes them ineligible for the job I'll never know. Thus, the job search continued in earnest.

After another long day of searching and frustration, I made my way home and went straight to the shower. My mom had probably cooked dinner already if she came home today. Still, she was from the old school, where you ate what was prepared or nothing at all.

Consequently, that meant since I had no money to buy my own food, the most I would eat was a few spoonfuls of vegetables even on days I cooked. It was almost like being a pescatarian was a cardinal sin. There were a few times she would make me fish though, so I probably shouldn't complain.

Moreover, the shower was far more important. I wasn't even about to consider just diving between my sheets tonight if I was covered with a sticky sheen of sweat. I had no desire to spend the night feeling disgusting. Plus, showering had become an essential part of my "me time" now that I wasn't rushing off to activities right and left.

It was during this shower that the thought came to me. Okay, honestly, it occurred weeks ago when boredom struck. But, I put it to bed just as quickly. Now, however, the feeling was sinking in again. I was beginning to feel the pangs of loneliness again and in that moment I resolved to be brave and just do it. Sign up for the stupid profile.

I knew enough about the internet to know, this probably wasn't the best idea. In fact, I was certain it would end in disaster like pretty much every other thing I tried; and believe me I've tried them all. At this stage in my singleness, I'd had dating profiles all over the place.

Most of my dating profiles were for the websites that clearly needed an upgrade. I barely bothered even remembering the passwords to those accounts and why would I? They seemed more like hieroglyphs than passwords anyway. Still, what I was about to do, no one could know about.

I had just gotten out of the shower and I was completely relaxed which seemed like the perfect time to draft my nonverbal sililoquy of awesomeness, if you'd even call it that. Opening up the GraceDate site, I began the process of filing in my attributes and writing my about me section. Finishing up, I scrolled through my computer files looking for a decent picture.

Decent pictures were just about the only kind I had. I know self love is like a big movement now, or whatever, and I fully believe in self love. As a rather averagely attractive woman, I can say with certainty that I love and respect myself. However, my reasons for that love do not have anything to do with such a vain characteristic as beauty.

I had never held an dilusions of my own beauty, for what good would it do?Moreover, I did not think it mattered much what I look like. It did not make me any less worthy of being loved. After all, I was still human, even for a regular looking girl.

After finding a picture I was moderately satisfied with, I reread my profile for good measure and shut down my computer before grabbing the brush on my bedside table. Less than an hour later, I had completed my night routine. But the more sleepy I became, the more my devices kept me awake.

Finally after losing every life on Candy Crush and a exchanging a few texts with Lauren, a friend from college, I put my phone away and went to sleep.

The next morning, I awoke, before daybreak, to the all too familiar chime of my ringtone and 27 notifications among which was a message from GraceDate support and Facebook posts. Rolling over, I released a ragged, frustrated sigh into my pillow before lifting my head and checking the time on my alarm clock.

 _5:38 am_

Oh great! Another banner year. Happy Birthday to me, I thought as I sinked back down into my covers as I willed the day to go away as quickly as possible. At the same time, I began to wonder if it was possible to just lay here and never leave this room again.


	2. Chapter 2: The Hit List

I hated birthdays.

In fact, I despised them. Of course, that was mostly because mine were just like every other day. My parents didn't do birthday parties. Hell, they never did any cultural or pseudo religious holidays either, so it's not much of a surprise. It wasn't something I was overly concerned about, though. Personally, I hated birthdays with the sort of fierceness only reserved for defending life and limb.

Usually, I shied away from any mention of the auspicious occasion altogether. Logic told me I should be happy to have been alive for another year, and I was. It's the celebratory aspects that I didn't care for. Celebrations meant attention. Attention meant anxiety. I was not a fan of anxiety attacks.

Today was different, though. Today, I wanted to be recognized. Today, I was ready to be somebody's something, anything that would make me feel real. I craved an anchor to ground me, to save me from sinking. I needed someone to make me feel less invisible.

I was almost done indulging on my obligatory sparkling cider, so soon I wouldn't even have that to turn to. It was an absolute waste of money, of course, since I wasn't going to get drunk off of bubbly apple cider. But, it was a nice gag gift to myself. That was my story and I'm sticking to it.

Just as I was pouring my final glass, my phone rang out into the quiet confines of my room. Almost immediately, I began to get nervous as I saw the notification for GraceDate.

 _1 unread message from Snixx09_

Setting aside my nervousness, I tapped the notification while reminding myself that I could not be seen through my phone screen. I could feel my eyes roll as the customary cliché message stared back at me.

 _Snixx09:_ _Hey beautiful._

Whoop. There it was. One of the most damning phrases in the online dating world was looking back at me. Immediately, red flags went off in my head.

It's not that I was opposed to being referred to as beautiful. Every human being I knew enjoyed having their ego stroked from time to time. It was the double edged sword of it all that got to me. Naturally, it could be just an innocent observation based on physical attraction. The potentially fatal mistake would be to just assume the best. My mind, however, would not allow it.

I knew that people were capable of being selfish and manipulative. The last thing I wanted was to waste my time. Investing my energy into getting to know her for it all to be just some twisted way to get into my pants, or worse, was not something I cared to do. I could still converse with her though.

I quickly pulled her picture and noticed that she was an attractive girl if her picture, complete with a red painted pouty lip, was anything to go off of. From her other pictures, a mixture of group shots and selfies, she didn't appear to be either masculine or feminine in nature. She simply was. It did seem as though she knew how to have fun too. Of course, these were all just conjectures. I had no way of knowing who she really was, unless she told me.

There was no "about me" section of her profile to speak of, which raised another red flag. I completed a thorough profile inspection with no more information than when I started out. Biting the bullet, I messaged her back.

 _CedesSays: Hello. Thank you for the compliment. I'm Mercedes, and you are?_

Less than five minutes later, a response came back through.

 _Snixx09_ : _Hi. You're welcome. I'm Santana._

 _CedesSays: It's a pleasure to make your aquaintance. So, what brings you here, to my inbox, of all places?_

 _Snixx09: Well, honestly, I saw your profile last night. I was kind of hesitant to message you at first because I didn't think you would respond. I just couldn't believe how beautiful you are._

Oh, this girl was good. I took a momentary pause to gather myself as I felt a familiar uneasiness in my stomach. A younger me would have giggled and smiled at a simple compliment being given to me. But, the grown woman in me, fought against those feelings. I knew better than to fall for fluff. She had the wrong girl.

 _CedesSays: You have no reason to be nervous. I always respond to messages. I just feel that it's a courtesy to the other person so they aren't waiting around for it._

 _Snixx09: Hmm, interesting viewpoint. I never considered that concept could apply outside of texting._

 _CedesSays: It should apply everywhere._

 _Snixx09: Roger that. So what are you looking for on here?_

 _CedesSays: Well, what I'm looking for right now is friends. I don't want to jump into a relationship cold turkey. Besides, I believe I need to be friends with my future significant other before I can be anything else to them._

 _Snixx09: That's understandable. I think its important that you have a bond rather than just a title._

 _CedesSays: So, you don't think titles are important?_

 _Snixx09: No. I think titles are very important, otherwise you're single, right? What I mean is I think that in any relationship, you need to have a bond before you can have any title._

 _CedesSays: Touché, you have me there._

 _Snixx09: So does that makes a friends?_

 _CedesSays: I was raised by the "if you have to ask, you already know the answer" philosophy, never has it more aptly applied than now._

 _Snixx09: Mark my words, Cedes, you'll be mine before you know it?_

 _CedesSays: Is that right?_

 _Snixx09: I don't need to. You'll volunteer for_ _the position._

 _CedesSays: Yeah right...sure I will._

 _Snixx09 logged off_

Staring at the screen in disbelief, I quickly placed my phone on do not disturb. If Santana wanted to play these games, so be it. I refused to stoop to her level of childishness. The next time she heard from me, it would be on my terms. Mercedes Jones does not beg anyone for anything, nor do I teach common decency, and I have no intention on starting now.


End file.
